Min Blogg -

Min stackars älsking

Publicerat 2014-08-14 10:04:07 i Allmänt

Nu känner jag verkligen att jag behöver skriva av mig om allt vad som hänt, hur det känns, alla funderingar som snurrar i huvudet och förhoppningsvis känns det lite lättare och klarare när jag fått ur mig allt.

Det började i Maj eller Juni med att Oden helt plötsligt var halt när jag kom hem från jobbet, Han hade inte varit det när Emil var ute med honom på lunchen men nu kunde han plötsligt knaptp gå på benet. Jag började gå igenom honom och hittade furunkulos på ena tassen som jag trodde kunde ha orsakat smärtan. Vi bokade in en veterinärtid och där trodde dem inte att det berodde på den utan att han har ont i armbågen av okänd anledning men vi fick med oss lite smärtstillande och ordination lugna korta promenader.

Hela sommaren har vi alltså tagit det mer lungt, burit honom i trappen, in i bilen osv för att avlasta. Allt har funkat fint men så fort han har dampat lös på en äng eller så har hältan kommit fram igen så, Vi har fortsatt att ta det lungt men ville ändå gå till botten med vad som orsakade det och bokade in en tid för röntgen nu i Måndags.

Som visade att Oden hade artros i båda armbågar, lite värre på höger sida och det blev bara svart för mig. Skulle min lilla älskling vara sjuk ? Ska han behöva lida, Har han ont hela tiden bara att han inte visar det, Ska han aldrig mer få ha staffefnatt i det fria? Frågorna hopade sig och jag hade nog blivit rejält chockad. Känner också att vi fick så himla lite information om hur vi ska gå vidare, vad man kan göra för att bromsa upp artrosen, info om olika läkemedel och tillskott, hur vi ska motionera osv. Men som tur var kan ju internet svara på allt och jag har beställt dem kosttillskott som skulle vara bäst, Nu på fredag hade vi simträning för honom inbokad, vi har fortsatt med lugna promenader och avlastning i tex trappor och vi gav fan i att ge Oden den smärtstillande medicinen vi fick utskriven som kunde ge fruktansvärda biverkningar, skador och även dödsfall pga kraftiga blödningar i magen. Det utsätter jag INTE min kille för. Speciellt inte nu när han är pigg & glad och inte visar tendenser på smärta. SPECIELLT inte nu när veterinären även trodde att han hade magkatarr.. HUR fan kan man skriva ut en medicin mot känslig mage och samtidigt en annan så stark medicin som påverkar just magen ?!

Jag grät konstant första dygnet, Jag är så rädd att förlora honom. LIVRÄDD över att behöva vara den som ska ta beslutet över när han inte ska lida mer. Rädd för att artrosen snabbt ska bli sämre, Rädd för att han ska behöva ha ont. Ni förstår att Oden är mitt allt ! Jag styr hela mitt liv efter honom, Han ska ha sin mat på sina speciella tider, han ska ha sin motion och sitt sällskap. Jag väljer jobb efter honom så att han inte ska behöva vara ensam mer än någon timme per dag.. Max. Jag köper den bil som är bäst för honom, jag väljer honom framför allt annat och när han inte längre finns, Så vet jag inte vad mitt liv skulle bestå av annat än tomhet.

Jag hade börjat se klarare på det hela, Att vi skulle göra allt för att hålla artrosen i schak så skulle nog det här gå bra. Vi skulle ju träna rätt, ge tillskotten, köpa en ergonomisk bädd, ett back on tracktäcke osv. Allt verkade bra när vi åkte hemifrån igår morse men när Emil kommer hem från jobbet på lunchen han Oden kräkts och bajsat diaree/vatten i stort sett överallt och det smärtar mig så att han varit ensam när det hände, att han förgäves har försökt få komma ut men ingen kunde hjälpa honom.

Jag åkte i ilfart hem från jobbet, bokade en akuttid på Gammelstans Djursjukhus och när jag kom hem började han direkt att bli sämre. Han flåsade hela tiden på ett annat sätt och det bara rann dreggel ur munnen på honom, han orkade bara ligga ner och skakade i hela kroppen samt kändes alldeles kall.

Vi fick röntga magen på honom, ta tempen som visade att han var lite för kall och pga hans dåliga allmäntillstånd fick han stanna kvar hos dem över kvällen, natten och någon gång idag ska han äntligen få komma hem. Han hade blivit uttorkad så blodproverna visade på höga halter röda blodkroppar vilket brukar gå till sig när dem får dropp. I övrigt hade dem ingen aning om hur eller vart det här utbrottet kom ifrån.

Så nu är planerna ändrade, Artrosrehabiliteringen får vänta tills vi fått någon ordning på hans mage. Jag vet inte alls vad han ska äta eller hur, om det är nåt han inte tål, om hans mage klarar av artrostillskotten. Simningen får vänta till nästa vecka. Och jag är så otroligt tacksam över att vi aldrig gav dem där starka medicinerna, Jag vill inte ens tänka på hur det kunde ha slutat då när hans mage redan var i sånt dåligt skick.

Att älska är att vara sårbar, Det förstår jag verkligen nu. Det smärtar mig att se honom må dåligt och jag önskar mer än något annat i världen att han bara ska få må bra nu, Att allt ska bli bra.

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